A friend sent me an article and the message has been on my mind the past few days. First, this is a friendly disclaimer that the article is riddled with the F-bomb. Sorry in advance, Mom. In this particular instance, it is necessary for emphasis and I do not know this Mark Manson gentleman, but he is onto something. I will provide some brief commentary on the article, but you need to read it. An estimated ‘eight minute read’ is more of a four minute read since you will quickly become engrossed in the wisdom that Mark is dropping.
I am a big fan of the ‘Don’t half-ass anything’ philosophy and this aligns with Mark’s F*Yes mentality. I find that my biggest complaint (of several) with dating is the overanalyzing, the mind games, and the supposed modern dating norms that we are told to follow. “Much of it gets exceedingly analytical, to the point where some men and women actually spend more time analyzing behaviors than actually, you know, behaving,” says Mark.
It should not be that hard. Be yourself – it is attractive to not have someone trying too hard to fulfill whatever persona they think they need to be in order to get a second date.
I want someone to be all in when they date me. They understand my quirks, my humor, and my desire to smother them with baked goods and love. I want them to yell a big F*Yes about spending time with me – whether it is at a baseball game, the symphony, walking Winnie, or grocery shopping. You know it’s the right person if they make you laugh and you still get that anxious smile when their name appears on your phone. That is the F*Yes I am talking about.
They are the first person I text when I am happy and when I am sad. I word vomit the random, daily Libby thoughts, like an update on how big my fro is due to the humidity, or about the cute dog at Bluebeard during lunch, or the postman complimenting me on my shoes. The little, everyday happenings that make for a fulfilling life.
I am also a firm believer in Myers-Brigg and if you have to google MB, I have already lost you. As a proud INTJ, I am always interested in reading what my personality type says about my work, personal, and love relationships. The analysis always nails my strengths and weaknesses and I have yet to find a synopsis that did not ring true for me. I have a group of friends that I always share new Myers Briggs articles with – we’re like psychology groupies.
Here’s some insight into me and you can find all 16 personality types here. Keep in mind that INTJs only make up .02% of the female population. I am like a magical unicorn. Apparently a romantically awkward magical unicorn.
“INTJ relationships are slow to start, usually because this personality is romantically awkward. Personal relationships tend to deviate from the logical world in which “scientists” thrive, thus leaving such an individual unequipped to maneuver the emotional and physical aspects of a relationship. Self-confidence is one of the “jewels” of this personality and the case often seems to be that the INTJ’s self-confidence shines brightest when they aren’t looking for a relationship. This air of self-assurance can be extremely attractive to a potential mate and will help to instigate a relationship.
Once in a relationship, INTJ takes the commitment very seriously and will work hard to ensure that the relationship has a good chance of working out. It is no secret that INTJ has a difficult time expressing emotions, but in actuality they can feel very strongly about a companion. The introverted intuition factor can prevent this individual from sharing personal information even with a trusted partner.”
First, the I in introvert probably surprised many of you that know me. If I had my way, the perfect night is spent at home, baking and dancing in the kitchen with my dog. The extroverted part of me is ‘on’ most of the time, especially in social settings. Second, while I often let myself be vulnerable in the blog, I have a hard time letting my guard down with men actually interested in dating me. Trust takes time to build and it is rare that I feel comfortable enough to share the ‘Libby secrets,’ so when I do find myself at ease with someone, it is a special gift.
If you have a moment, read Mark’s article and then your personality type’s relationship style. I promise you will identify with some (or all) of it! And if you need a refresher on which personality type you are, I recommend the test from 16 Personalities.
The current man in my life, Winston.