I decided the long Labor Day weekend was the perfect time to finally make the pilgrimage to Milktooth, get my hipster on, wait 90 minutes for a table, and then try to figure out if I liked what I ate. Verdict: I am not sure I will go back. I know, right? I thought for sure this would be SO me. There were things I did like about it, but the food did not blow me away. I had done my homework and also had 90 minutes to study the menu on my iPhone in the parking lot. Several items appealed to me – even the bialy with cream cheese and lox, which fortunately they were sold out of since I frequently make that at home. Our server , Brady, was a Patachou transplant who recognized me from my obscene number of Patachou visits over the years. He is a ginger with a handlebar mustache and always commented when I had a bowtie in my hair. After catching up, he told me that he just opened his own hair studio. So, the service was great and the woman who took our name was hilarious and made sure to come visit me in the parking lot.
During the wait, I informed people that a cheetah had escaped from the Indy Zoo, it has now been tranquilized. I also helped them dissect the menu and explained what lemon curd and confit garlic aioli is in full detail. It’s a good thing I am a people person so the 90 minutes went fast and Milktooth kept me hydrated with several glasses of water with fancy ice cubes. I still had my lawn chair from the symphony last night, so I plopped down in the parking lot and it was a party. You can get out of there on the cheap if you order right. The drink menu will get you – there are drinks for as much as $22. I got an unsweetened iced tea for $2 and the porridge – not exciting, but it sounded good and was very filling. We also went with the catfish per Brady’s suggestion and a side of grits with a soft boiled egg. We had mixed thoughts about the grits and didn’t finish it. Keep in mind we are not Southern, y’all. The catfish was fried and flaky, but we thought the tartar sauce had a little mayo overkill. Brady told us that 1 in 10 of the jalapeños are spicy, but we couldn’t really tell.
Quirky bathtub garden.
My porridge was really good, but heavy and hot on a really hot day. The pistachios, pears, and hemp seeds (I told you, hipster!) were good and the coconut milk made it creamy and sweet. The purple color was fun and while I don’t plan to re-create anything we ate today, I have shared my go to porridge recipe below – no hemp seeds or elderberry required!
Other observations: a woman dropped her $10 pastry on the ground, picked it up and ate it. Kudos to that lady. The five second rule is real. I loved the vintage coffee cans on the table that held the silverware. The coffee list reminded me of Miami and the fancy whole milk coffee I had with my friend Kanester when I visited her. Overall, it was ok, but did not give me the same foodie high that Bluebeard, Mimi’s, even Bru Burger give me. They also do not allow substitutions. You will like it and eat it the way the chef wants you to. This is not the time to do your best When Harry Met Sally order.
LIBBY’S MORNING PORRIDGE
- 1/4 cup oats
- unsweetened coconut flakes
- sliced banana or blueberries
- cinnamon (I overdose on the cinnamon)
- a tiny pinch of sea salt
- 1/2 cup almond milk